Chugging along (or chubbing along)

Ok. It's day 4 of weightwatchers. I have to admit. I have been extremely hungry. I keep meaning to plug my food into sparkpeople, but things have been sort of busy at work. I also find entering food on spark, kind of cumbersome, slow and timeconsuming. I am however, interested in exactly how many calories I have been eating.

Right now, I'm not starving, but it is only 10 a.m. and I had kashi and yogurt for breakfast at 6:30 or so. I will be hungry soon. Ok. I'm already hungry, but probably because I am talking about it!

Oh and I do not have any flex points left at all! (On a victory note - last night I went to the North End and got soup and salad and no desert despite the temptation of Mike's Pastries).

Tonight, I'm headed to the gym.

I'm still alive

I've been slacking on my blogging. I have been through a battery of tests regarding my bloating and weight gain. I switched some meds (nothing wacky - just stomach stuff) and hopefully the weight will start to come off. So guess what I did?

I joined weightwatchers. I don't even really like weightwatchers. That being said - it does hold me accountable to my calorie intake, so I am going to give it a shot. Even though my medication is back to the old one - it still doesn't mean the crazy weight is going to melt off.

So I got a monthly pass.

I've been exercising at the Boston Sports Club! I actually have found some great classes. Zumba! I highly recommend Zumba. It's superfun and doesn't even feel like exercise!

One way to stay accountable is to blog - so here I am - blogging!

Blog slacker

I'm not in hiding. Just not blogging. Summer is hectic and I have been a slacker in many aspects of my life. Mostly the exercise one. I have a bunch of excuses, but really that is all they are is excuses.

I have this weird water retention thing (diagnosis hopefully in the works) and have started taking trace minerals and probiotics. Now I need to find a time when I am going to be home for 24 hours straight. Not easy.

I am going to go to acupuncture after I get back from visiting my sister in law.

I have also been trying to review organic products. I like the Whole Foods products because they are in expensive (i.e. 1.99 for a bottle of shampoo). The problem is that when I use them my hair color does not stay in as long and the gray comes shining through.

Also, the moisturizer, although pleasant enough, doesn't really do the trick.

My new love is Aveeno with SPF 15. It's think. It lasts and best of all it actually protects my skin.

Oh and I lost some inches. I haven't weighed myself, but I will!

Blogging and Accountability

I was thinking this morning. I am lazy. I am totally off track. I'm not lazy in the sense that I sit around all day eating bons bons, drinking wine and being slovenly. I'm lazy in that I haven't taken the time to plan out my schedule so that I actually exercise and eat right.

I checked out Amy's blog, and she reminded me of the commitment we made awhile ago - and how successful it made us in our journey to get healthy. With the help of Stacey, Amy, BBM and I were communicating our goals. I've been slacking in making time for myself.

So today, I went for a good long walk. I'm not exactly sure how long but I am pretty sure it was at least 3 miles.

This is what I need to do for the week:

1. go food shopping

2. get up earlier

3. go to the gym

4. get organized with my time

Sounds easy! HA!


How about this for weird. I have been not a great exerciser - and I lost ten lbs. Nice one. I think it's all about my crazy water retention. Hopefully I will have some answers soon!

Slacker AGAIN.

It's been a hectic couple of weeks. Last week, I was so busy (or worked myself into believing I was SO busy) that I didn't really even make it to the supermarket.

I did manage to squeeze in some exercise. Squeeze being the key word in that phrase.

My husband, his sister and my father in law successfully threw a surprise party for my mother in law. Actually, mostly my father in law and I, and then my husband and then my sister in law took my mother in law shopping to get her out of the house.

I know. I took on too much. I do that. It was worth the aggravation. Now the rest of the summer is mine. Well, mine and whatever else I decide to throw on my plate. I went to the supermarket and made food for breakfast and lunch for the week! So that's a huge start for me. An added bonus is that my brother and nephew are here for the week - so hopefully I'll be able to schedule some time to just chill with them.

Things I need to do:

1. Be accountable to myself.
2. Be more organized.

Slacking and posting again.

I have been slagging in my posting. Leanna and Amy have both gotten back on the "blogging wagon" and I thought I would join in again as well. Amy actually wasn't off the wagon that long and Leanna has now made up for lost time! Stacey even has a whole new blog up and running! Check it out.

Ok. About me. I measured myself to see if that would make a difference. It did. I lost four inches in two days. Probably because of intense dehydration. Good news is that I don't have any internal growths or anything, and my thyroid appears normal. Also, the medicine that I swear is making me bloated is working and my ulcerative colitis is in complete and total remission - Red Peppers HERE I COME! (just kidding).

I have been exercising and back at the gym.

One thing I learned about myself this past week (when I was slacking a bit) is that I have to get up and exercise early otherwise I get too busy and don't get to it. I know I have learned this same lessons at least 50 times in the past. It's nice to have a reminder.

Is there such thing as exercise alzheimers?

I had a busy day going to the gym, going to brunch (I portioned controlled but lost willpower with the chocolate covered marshmallows!). Went to the mall. Went to my mom and stepdad's and played with my nephews (can you say bench press!) who are good to lift!

Now I'm tired.

Misadventures at the gym

Not really. I didn't have misadventures...but I got up at 5:45 for my orientation. The trainer didn't show up. I was a little annoyed, but she had food poisoning. She called me to reschedule. I have not called back yet.

I walked on the treadmill for ten minutes. Did some 'circuit training'. Only the machines I knew about. Then did the elliptical for 22 minutes and then did some crunches. Then I went home and to work.

Yesterday I planted a garden! I will take pictures and post them. It's mostly flowers.

I am now off to the doctor to discuss my swollen feet and water retention.

Busy week and joining the gym.

Today I joined the gym. Officially. The husband had already signed up and paid but I had to go and put my John Hancock on some forms. It's expensive to quit, so I guess I'm in for the long haul! I actually did 55 minutes on the elliptical. I could have done more, but thought that maybe I should rest. I was caught up in Housewives on Bravo. The one in NYC. I am not sure i was exercising "mindfully".

Last night I went out with my girlfriends, well some of them. The ones I don't see very often. We saw Sex and the City. We definitely were older than the crowd. Many of them were very very dressed up. It was good. I won't be going to a late movie again anytime soon.

The husband isn't home tonight so I think I'm going to try the chickpea curry that Amy raves about. The curry smell should be gone before he gets home!

Oh and my feet are STILL swollen, but I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow with my doctor and she and my GI will get to the bottom of it! (It's nice when your PCP and GI are friends.)

Quick update

I have made some decisions. I have decided to join the gym. The husband negotiated a good deal for me.

I also have an appointment with my doctor on Monday. She is good. I will no longer see doctors I don't want to just for the sake of it.

I also am going to try to do more with local bar associations because that is a great way to meet people and see old friends.

Also, I have a quick victory - I went to a great dinner tonight and it was a buffet. I had no drinks (partly because my pocketbook was so overloaded I didn't want to open it up and have it explode while looking for cash). I also had one serving at the buffet. The waitress told me I could go back up again but I said no, I'm all set. And that was that!

Better than nothing or a tour of exercise TV in 30 minutes

I'm feeling a little lazy this morning. I should have gone out of the house to exercise but instead I started Exercise TV and a Sparkpeople video at 7:18 and now it's 7:52 and I'm done. Here's what I did:

6 minutes of a Sparkpeople jumping around video. That is not the name, but that is what you do. It was good, but I kept having to strain to see my computer while jumping.

Then I did a walking video with Amy Sansone - but not the whole thing. I got discouraged and bored.

Then I did a little dancing.

Then I did some great abs. So about 20 minutes of cardio, and 10 minutes of abs. Not all bad.

My free week at the gym expired. I actually was disappointed (as today is Wednesday NOT Tuesday) when I thought about it last night. I thought "oh I can go to the gym". Nope. I need to join. Emailing the manager is one of the first things on my 'to do' list for today.

Quick post, and there is nothing like a photo reminder of chubbiness

I was pretty good this weekend! A great workout on Saturday with Beets. I went to my mom's wedding on Sunday, and hung out with the family (other than dancing there was no exercising involved).

I didn't eat enough, then late night pigged out a little due to an excessive amount of red wine.

This is Adam and I. We are the fat ones in the family.

This is the Family:
We grew!

And this is my "before picture" (I've decided).

That's my sister in law, me and my sister.

This is my first attempt at pictures in my blog. It's sort of annoying.

Anyway, four day weeks are great and horrible all at the same time, nice break but then trying to cram five (or six) days of work into four....I didn't make it to the gym tonight.

I am going to go for a good power walk in the a.m.

Walking up hill

I went walking with Beets today and got a better workout then I would have had I trudged around my neighborhood.

We went up hills and did some interval training. I came back and my feet were not swollen at all - they looked just like they were supposed to. Now, an hour or so later I have once again developed cankles. Maybe not drinking water helped? Maybe I am losing that 8 lbs of water?

I also tried peanut butter and half a banana in my steel cut oats this morning. Not bad. Definitely different than maple syrup. I had a small snack when I got back, but am not really that hungry. I am making edamame salad for my mom's rehearsal dinner. Yes. My mom's rehearsal dinner. She is getting married tomorrow. I will try to be good.

I have to say that I feel like I have turned a corner in the exercise department. I really enjoy it and it makes me feel better. It's also good to go with a friend to keep yourself motivated.

What I learned at the doctor's office.

I went to the doctor today. It was actually almost 12 hours ago, but it's been a long day!

First of all, it was crazy person day. That is all I will say, but it must be a full moon.
I didn't walk due to swollen limbs. I will exercise tomorrow. I ate well today.

This is what I learned at the doctor:
(this was not my PCP but the 'urgent care' doctor -- I will NEVER see him again).

1. Doctors are sometimes too lazy or impatient to interrupt other doctors to see if they got a fax from a patient's specialist.
2. I am getting old ("we all are") and perhaps I need support hose.
3. I drink too much water (I did not volunteer this information) and if I'm thirsty try a Popsicle.
4. I'm not grossly over saturated, but definitely retaining fluid.
5. Weight watchers and the Zone diet guy made up the water obsession to help dieters keep their hands busy with something other than food.
6. I am crazy.

No, seriously, I'm not crazy. I hate when doctors dismiss me. They took some blood. Didn't seem to care that I had GAINED 18 lbs in 2 months. 18. Yes. 8 in less than a month. That's a lot for someone who is definitely eating less than she was AND exercising. Basically I got no answers. He did say it was fine to exercise. I'm sure it is, but I have to say that I don't feel like I got any answers.

I made an appointment with my PCP when I left the doctor's office. I told her nurse that I didn't feel comfortable with the other doctor and that he made me feel crazy. Like I was imagining water retention. I'm not.

I had some watermelon, and my new favorite Fage yogurt and a salad and some shrimp for my 'evening' meal.

Half a banana?

Today I went to with my mom and her friend to get manicures and pedicures for my mom's wedding! It was my mom's second pedicure in 60 years. It was my second pedicure in 2 weeks. I think she liked it. I love pedicures!

I'm swollen. Still swollen. I called my doctor (a different one) and he said he doesn't think it is my colitis medication but he will call me in the morning as he had just gotten back from a conference. Also, I have to go in and see him. That's kind of a pain.

Now my feet have been swollen for awhile and I haven't lost any weight (despite, actually eating LESS and exercising). My mom was alarmed at my 'cankles' and swollen feet and I think she was afraid that I was going to stroke out so she made me promise to go straight to her friend's house and have my blood pressure checked. It's perfect. My pulse is great.
While I was there, my mom's friend suggested I only eat half a banana instead of a whole one to see if that helps me lose weight.

I came home and the husband got a good look at my feet and was alarmed. I had to promise to insist on talking to the doctor in the morning.

I didn't think it was a big deal. I didn't exercise though - I was feeling uncomfortable and all the alarm made me nervous. My nails look pretty, I had some watermelon. I'm watching You, Me and Dupree with the husband. I've already met my cardio goals for the week. I ate well.

Wacky Wednesday and I wish I was in Rome

Today would be a nice day to be in Italy. I have been thinking about travelling and how much the dollar stinks so travelling abroad really isn't the most practical thing at the moment. I love working on my own schedule, but it would be nice to be sent on a business trip to Italy.

Anyway, I called the doctor to complain about my bloated. I woke up and my feet are swollen. One should not wake up with swollen feet, even if they have a tendency towards them. I don't usually have swollen feet.

I am SORE from yoga. A good sore, but sore. I am definitely strongly considering joining the gym.

I forgot my sneakers. I'm annoyed with myself.

Yoga, the gym and decisions

I went back to the gym today. Today I did Vinyasa Yoga. It was a little different from a yoga studio. There was techno music pumping next door in the spin class. It quieted after awhile. The class was definitely a good workout. Everyone else was skinny. I didn't like that everyone else was skinny. It might be good motivation though.

The husband wants to know if I am going to join. I think I want to go to some more classes. I hate to pay and not go. If he goes, I probably will also go. I have to say that it is easier to stop on the way home and go to a class on a late night or a rainy day then it is to go home and walk. Once I'm home I often want to eat dinner and relax.

I think I made my decision. I think I will join.

I have also decided to make a doctor's appointment as I have been steadily gaining weight, in spite of my weight loss efforts and exercise.

Self Control? What is that?

I cannot stop eating candy. It tastes good. Anyway, but I digress.

I had an adventure at the gym. I went for my 'free' week at the Boston Sports Club. Unfortunately, I got there too late for the 'circuit'. One thing I will say is that it is very nice and clean! Everyone was very nice.

Going to the gym was surreal. In my twenties I went to the gym a lot! I loved the classes and the fact that when you are at the gym, it is all about you! It's relaxing and a good time to get your head straight.

I did the elliptical machine for 40 minutes (while watching tv), which is not very mindful, but a good distraction. I have to say that I enjoy watching tv while exercising . I forgot how much I like cardio and how I like to sweat!

Then I did some weights. I'm sore today, but feeling good.

I think I'm going to go again today and try the yoga class or pilates (depending on when I get out of work). I also forgot my sneakers so it's yoga, pilates or go home and walk.

Turning a corner

Not literally. I haven't really even left the house today. Doing work, reading blogs, doing laundry and exercising.

I feel like I turned a corner because I wanted some good cardio. I wanted to exercise. I did two programs on On Demand, totally about 40-45 minutes. They were both dancing. I got my heart rate up and felt good.

I looked for some good strength training ones, but couldn't find any that I really wanted to do, and so I stretched out and did some abs. Now I'm eating an apple

Saturday and El Sarape

Last night the husband and I went with his parents to our favorite restaurant, El Sarape, in Weymouth Landing (but the restaurant is actually in Braintree). It is not a healthy eating sort of place. It is however, delicious!

I had some margaritas (they make the best!). I also made a relatively healthy choice (well at least a portion controlled one) and got a combination dinner that had two enchiladas. I knew I would eat everything on the plate and didn't want to be stuffed. I wasn't stuffed!

I did not make it to the gym yesterday to start my free membership, instead the husband and I played golf. I am getting a little better! It was way too nice of a day to be inside.

Today I am thinking about doing the free membership for a week thing and seeing how it goes, as they have some good weight training classes and some good machines. I find that doing strength training at home has not been going very well. Although, it's only the beginning!

Friday Night Food!

I think I did pretty well yesterday. I ate well all day and then met BBM for a quick dinner. Check out her blog for the run through and commentary.

I went to a party for my mom who is FINALLY after 16 1/2 years of dating, getting married. It is very exciting, not only because I love her future husband but because now I have a better way to explain my 'nephews' if someone looks at me confused - instead of my mom's boyfriend's grandsons. They will be my nephews. Also, it will help with his daughter - we are always getting asked how we know each other, if we are related - and we have a long-winded explanation. I'm all for simplicity!

Anyway, I ate before the party (where there was a lot of fabulous food) and wasn't hungry. I had some water and then when everyone was raving about the 'red velvet cupcakes' (which were cutely arranged on a cup cake tree), I decided to try one. It really wasn't for me so I threw it away (the baker is a good baker, I'm just a simple girl...I think maybe there is coconut in it?).
Then I tried another chocolate cookie - again had a lot of coconut inside. I settled on Fudge. I had a couple of tiny pieces (they were cut up very tiny). They were delicious!

Now I am trying to decide if I should go to the gym now (pre-shower), go to work (pre-shower) and then go to the gym or shower, go to work and then go to the gym and have to take another shower.

The husband joined a gym and I have two free weeks to check it out. In fact it is the same gym that Amy goes to...so I'm excited to try out some classes.

I also have to do:

Food Shopping
Laundry
Clean up
Find shoes for the wedding

So, I'll make a decision pretty quickly.


Oh and I'm so proud of the husband - he is trying to eat healthy! His version of healthy and mine are not the same...but it's a start!

A lost Ipod, new mantra and shin splints

I still have shin splints (sorry Leanna). I went for a walk this morning. The husband sort of pushed me out of bed. Then we were out of milk so I had to run to the supermarket (not literally...I drove). Then I came home, had two eggs and some coffee.

Then I walked. As I was walking, I heard myself thinking of my old motivational self-talk, which for the record is highly negative and involves the word 'fatty'.

This negative self-talk is not helpful. I don't quite have a new mantra - but I have new phrases that I use such as: "I'm strong", "I'm fit", "I'm on the road to a healthy lifestyle", "I feel good", "These shin splints are slowly improving and will be better next week".

I'm trying to visualize where I want to be instead of being negative about where I am. I'm not in a negative spot, I'm just moving towards a more positive one!

Also, I can't find my ipod. This is a problem. I might need to go and get myself a shuffle for exercise purposes (I like how they clip on). We (as in the husband and I) are planning on getting iphones when our contract with verizon runs out...so I don't want to go and get a whole new ipod, and I think a shuffle will work just fine.

Anyway, I walked 4 out of 5 days this week!

So far so good

Thursdays are my toughest day. I have to be at a meeting early. I was exhausted and didn't get up to walk at 5 a.m.



At the meeting I ate fruit, and then had a banana. Then I had some coffee.



Then I was in court and stopped for lunch, at my new favorite place for lunch! Eatin' Healthy is a place in Quincy Center. It's actually healthy. I was a little skeptical (and I had been there before and the food is always good), that it was actually healthy. After I ordered I looked at the nutritional information (yes, after) for my sandwich - 7 grain bread, goat cheese, avocado, greens and some dressing. I think it was about 330 calories with 15 grams of fat (which is fine as it is really the first fat I had all day). It was delicious!!



I'm still tired from my new routine, but after work I got home, threw on sweats and sneakers and went out the door for a walk. Then I came home and ate steel cut oats and am thinking about the rest of the edamame salad because I am still hungry and I have half a serving left.



We'll see.

A day without exercise

I had a very busy day.



First, last night/evening I locked my keys in my office and as luck would have it no one was at work and no one was in the area! I got a ride home, and then the husband dropped me off with the extra key on his way to work.



I got back from this little adventure at 5:30. Ate breakfast (steel cut oats and maple syrup) had some more coffee. Then I sat on the couch 'for a minute' and woke up an hour later.



Then I got in the shower and started my day!

I then ran (actually drove) around like an energizer bunny all day. I was glad I brought my lunch and that I had spoons in my car! I was able to eat my edamame salad outside the Registry of Motor Vehicles and it was cold because I had packed it with a giant ice pack. It was in a plastic bag, and the ice pack was for a knee...but it worked. (Note to self: get some ice packs and a lunch sack.)

After work, I met some old co-workers at the Fat Black Cat in Quincy. It was great. I worked in a dysfunctional office but met some great people that I am lucky to know. I did pretty well too this is what I had:

• a glass of Malbec wine
• some nachos
• a piece of calamari
• a small piece of bread with black bean hummus
• a salad with shrimp and goat cheese (the 'shuttle salad'), it was awesome

and we all shared a dessert and I had some decaf.

I'm full! Overall, I'm pleased with myself. I'm also TOTALLY exhausted. TOTALLY. I have a 7 a.m. meeting tomorrow morning so I am going to get up at 5 to go for a walk (provided I fall asleep soon).

Lesson of the day - Hydrate!

I usually drink a lot of water. So much so that I'm not concerned about my level of hydration. However, this morning, I got up and was a little thirsty. I drank some water before my walk in World's End. Not enough.

On the way home I felt nauseous (and was thinking 'maybe I did not eat enough for my vitamins'). I got home and felt more nauseous. Called the husband to complain. He in his infinite wisdom said to drink plenty of water and something salty. His words were actually "make some eggs and just pour your usual amount of salt on them".

I knew what to do, but wasn't really thinking clearly. I can't think straight when I'm nauseous. Now I know - hydrate the day before!

Yesterday, I was in court most of the day so I didn't drink my usual water, and last night, I didn't drink any water.

Lesson learned!

Marketing and Shin Splints

I just lost my whole post. I just posted about my lovely walk in Bare Cove Park. I got terrible shin splints. I am glad that BBM came with me, because I might have turned around.

I have decided to attack fitness and losing weight with the same intensity that I attacked marketing my law practice and other things that I have set my mind to in my life. Generally, if I set my mind to something, I can get it done. This doesn't work for everything, but since my health, fitness and wellness are something I can control, I'm going to have at it!

A few goals for myself:

1. Stretch out my shins and calves when I get home from work.
2. Get flats or some other sort of slip on for days when I am in the office (and there are no clients).
3. Get up tomorrow at 5 a.m.
4. Track my food and exercise today.

Those are mini-goals and totally doable. It's all about baby-steps

The scale is not my friend

I'm fatter and heavier than I have ever been on my life. Don't worry, I'm NEVER going to post my weight, unless of course I lose it, and want to show off. (And. I am definitely NOT pregnant...and YES I am sure.)

I was at my mom's for Mother's Day. She has a scale. I stepped on it. It was higher than I have ever seen. I then took off my very cute jean jacket, it was lower, but still VERY high. I then had my husband get on it. He said it was correct.

So on the way home we were talking. I'm getting fatter and fatter. I've been dieting and gaining weight.

Husband: I don't think you have a thyroid problem or anything, but I think you have to exercise a lot if you are going to lose weight. Your metabolism is slowing down.

Me: I've been exercising more than ever.

Husband: You do not have the metabolism of your mom and sister. Sorry. (He said this very nicely.)

Me: I know. I never thought I did (getting a little snarky).

Husband: You've been walking for ages and it is probably just keeping you from ballooning out.

Me: I do not like to run.

Then we talked about options. For one, I have been getting up earlier so I could go to the gym and do some heavy duty cardio in the morning, but that is a pain. We also talked about getting an elliptical machine.

The thing is that I have been watching what I eat. I have been more active. I have gained. Nothing fits. I have even gained since starting the blog.

Golf Take Two

Golf is fun. Luckily today it was also exercise! The course wasn't crowded (we played late - 6 p.m. on a Saturday) so we could walk fast.

It was fun. Of course the husband and I were too tired to cook ... and I only had food I would eat if he was not home. Things like whole grain pasta, yogurt, artichokes, and the makings for a nice chickpea curry. Things that he will not eat.

We decided on Chinese. He got pork fried rice and chicken wings (he's quitting smoking so he can eat whatever he wants as long as it keeps him on a somewhat even keel). I had Vietnamese spring rolls with the yummy sauce. (Thanks Amy for turning me on to these they are very very yummy.) I also had tofu with broccoli and some sort of sauce that was very very spicy. Not as spicy as the Vietnamese Pad Thai. I asked for it not to be too spicy, but it was still spicy. Not SO spicy I could not eat it, but spicy enough that I didn't eat a lot of it!

I was moderately good the rest of the day (although I didn't really eat lunch, I just snacked on a kashi bar and some fruit) so I made myself a pb and j when I got home. The peanut butter was organic, the jelly was supposedly natural and the bread was very hearty and full of grains and seeds and sprouts. It did fill me up. I think part of the reason why I ate it (ok I know) is that I was a little nervous I would starve on the golf course. If that had been the case, I'm sure some nice boys would have at least offered me a beer!

Tomorrow is another day!

My mom is thin

First, let me say, I love Google Reader. I have found a lot of inspiring stories and great information on my mission to live a healthy life (and to make it a habit). I have come across fabulous websites, written by real women who have dealt with their issues, gotten healthy and then inspired others.

Anyway, I came across the ELASTICWAIST, a growing obsession about the weight of it all. The post I came across was about learning diet behavior from your mom.

As far as I know, my mom never dieted when I was growing up. She is tall and thin. I didn't get her genes in that regard - at a good fighting weight I'm practically petite (I may look like I have big bones from the excess fat, but no!). I have breasts. My mom is really sort of flat. She also has more energy then anyone I have ever met. Recently she's gained a few pounds (and by a few, I mean like 10). She has always encouraged me to eat healthy, and we never really had any junkfood in our house.

My mom does eat a good diet - and will occassionally want to lose weight. The thing about that is, that she realizes when she's started to gain, and does something about it RIGHT AWAY. Thus keeping her at a respectable weight.

I wish I had paid more attention to her eating habits when I was growing up.

By the way, my mom does encourage me to lose weight. She's like me to be thin. My grandmother also wanted me to be thin - and when I was sickly skinny due to ulcerative colitis, she was quite thrilled! (But my grandmother had weight issues all of her life - - and incidentally had breasts.)

Anyway, I don't think I can blame my mom for my food issues. I actually do no think there is anyone to blame (Grandma's heart was in the right place). I just need to get in gear and hopefully get to a place so that when I have a daughter - I'm not dieting, I'm just eating healthy and perhaps cutting back a little if I have gone overboard.

Eating out with a new non-smoker

The husband called me when he was on his way home from work. He wanted to go out to dinner. Then he got it in his head that he wanted Chili's. I really am not a huge fan of Chili's...and thought it would pose something of a healthy eating challenge.

I also knew that with the rain it was unlikely I would get my ten minutes of exercise in (and I really had no interest of walking in the rain).

I did okay. Not fantastic. Even after I tried on my jeans and they didn't really fit. I couldn't find my favorite jeans. All clothes are tight and I feel bloated.

This did not stop me from eating a couple (three) nachos. I also had a margarita. Sooner or later I will have to find out how many calories are in a margarita...but not today.

Choosing healthy food at Chili's is HARD! I ended up having the mushroom-swiss burger but with a black bean veggie burger. I had no idea it came with mayo - so I tried to scrape it off. I got broccoli instead of fries. So overall. Not terrible. Not great and I'm still feeling fat.

Golf!

Tonight the husband and I played 9 holes of golf. It was my first 'official' 9 holes with my new starter set of golf clubs. We played at a local Par 3. FYI - Par 3's are pretty short! I had only ever played at South Shore Country Club - and you do a lot of walking!

We walked. I don't understand the whole cart thing. I got some exercise - but not as much as I would have liked - but walking for two hours counts towards my ten minute a day goal.

I had a snack before I went. One of the Kashi bars. I was a little nervous that I would get hungry while playing. When we were waiting to Tee off in the middle - I thought to myself "I'm hungry." I wasn't really.

I always think I'm hungry.

We stopped at Whole Foods on the way home - we needed some rolls and I wanted a veggie burger instead of the hotdog or hamburger that the husband was offering. So he had baked beans and two cheeseburgers. I had a veggie burger on a roll. Then I had 5 chocolate cookies (50 calorie total) and 32 natural cheetos (that I bought when I was hungry).

Overall I think I stayed around 1800 calories today, and most of it was healthy!

So today is a small step forward.

Oh and I made steel cut oats (I ran out) for breakfast tomorrow! Yum!

Lunch and other non-disasters

I got called into court last minute (and had been planning on going to a brown bag lunch) and instantly thought "well I had better eat something before I go". It was 11:30. I was not hungry. I did not eat. I had to 'self-talk' myself into the fact that I did not need food at that moment.

I also was able to call my friend and ask her "What should I get at Panera?". I called her because I know that she probably goes there, at least on occasion becuase it is right near her office. I also knew that Panera was a place I could eat near court. Turns out, I got out of court at 1:15. I went to Hannafords, had a spring roll (rice paper, salad stuff and avocado) and sea weed salad. I also stopped to get coffee at Dunkin Donuts.

I bought some emergency kashi bar rations (two) just to have in my desk in case I have a moment where I am going somewhere and 'i might starve'. Not likely to happen.

Anyway, I am going to focus on increasing my water intake to what it should be, and counteracting every cup of caffeine with a cup of water!

Self - control and not eating.

I had a networking meeting this morning - early - at 7 a.m. Usually, I don't eat before the meeting, but today I did. I decided that I would have my waffles and stop for coffee so that I would be sure that I would have skim milk.

I then had some fruit at the meeting. I love fruit. Someone brought muffins and donut sticks. They looked delicious!!! I didn't have one. I wasn't hungry. Small victory, but a victory none the less!

If I hadn't had breakfast - it is very very likely that I would have had one or two.

Facing reality and finding balance

Here's the thing. I'm fat. Not super obese. But overweight. I have little bones. I used to be a comfortable size 4. I had a little 'blubber' but mostly I looked cute. (size 0 was too small)

I'm uncomfortable that I'm fat. But I am not unhappy with myself. This might be the first day that I realized - I do not like being fat, but it does not make me unhappy, a bad person or a bad anything. I'm still cute and fun and smart.

I had a bit of a realization when trying on clothes at one of my very favorite stores Lyn Evans for Potpourri Designs. The site is broken but hopefully it will be up soon. Anyway, I tried on a bunch of clothes and many of them were too small. It was eye opening to see that I am at the high end of 'regular sizes'.

So then, on my way home, I was chatting with my friend, who is really in a groove and succeeding at getting fit, Leanna, was walking. It was 9 p.m. I thought it was too late. She said "says who?" Good question. I went for a twenty minute walk/run around my neighborhood. Better than nothing.

I think I am revamping my goals and for now I am going to keep with the minute goals...but make sure that I do ten minutes of at least brisk walking every day.

I'm also going to measure and weigh myself so I can keep track of my stats.

Meat?

For some reason lately, I'm not into meat and animal products .

So I decided to search for some veggie blogs (and had some help from Leanna)

This is what I have found:

Eat, Live, Run
It is informative and interesting. I also admire anyone who runs.

Kath Eats Real Food
More great recipes, and I have to say, I love her philosphy. She cooks real food. I'm just not into dieting, but need to figure out a way to live healthy forever. I'm trying very hard to make health, stress managment, fitness and slenderness a lifestyle

I'm not sure if slenderness is a word - but I have little bones - and I'd like that to be obvious when I look in the mirror.

I really do like looking around for blogs. I'm so impressed by so many of them!

Stress, Hunger and Allergies

I'm feeling sort of bad that Spring is pissing me off. It is beautiful out, the flowers smell fantastic and my allergy medicine has not yet kicked in.

My friend Leanna swears by accupuncture for these sort of issues. One of these days I am going to go to accupuncture, I've even picked out a location, The Lane Center, it is convenient and highly recommended. For now I am waiting for the allergy drugs to kick in.

I haven't had allergies like this in years and years. I even hit up several clerks and probation officers for advil today in court, because I thought my head might explode (and this was indoors...very indoors...after zyrtec, some nose spray and a sudafed (the real kind)).

I digress. How does this relate to my state of eating? I tend to want to 'cure' headaches - and I have a few remedies: caffeine, water, food and advil. I also take whatever remedy is first available. Today, it was candy (small hard lemon ones) from the clerk. Then sudafed. Then advil. Then slowly I felt human again.

Then, the other thing is that I found myself stressing out a choice one of my clients has to make. I was taking on the client's stress. I realize this, and am working on it. I did not put myself in the situation that he did (and given the circumstances of the case, I can say with reasonable certainty, I never will).

So, I left court - after going from 8:45 to 1:15 with no food or drink. Needless to say I was hungry and exhausted. I met some people for lunch at a healthy eating place! I had a smoothie, and a brown rice wrap.

Then I found that I wanted some candy. I didn't have any. I did have a coke zero (still had a bit of a headache) and a a banana in the afternoon.

Then I went out and had margaritas and mexican with some other women defense attorneys. I stopped eating when I was full! Thanks Stacey for giving me some of the tools to be aware.

Oh and the cleaning lady asked me if I had lost weight (I haven't, but it was nice to hear).

Oh and the husband's efforts to quit smoking are going well. He is definitely going to gain weight. He is very very hungry. I don't care what he eats as long as he quits smoking - he's trying very hard and I am very proud of him! Now, for me to have some self control!

Ten minutes down, 170 to go

I walked for ten minutes around the block. It was the last thing I felt like doing. I could have gone around more but frankly it was 8 p.m. and I was ready for dinner.

My brown pants are not going to fit any better after that - but at least I went out for a little while.

My goal for tomorrow is to get up early and go for a walk...for any length of time...to help myself keep getting into a habit. Hopefully it will be fore 50 minutes or so.

Goals for the week

To make myself accountable:

• 180 minutes of cardio (includes walking)
• strength training twice
• write down or log what I eat so I can see what I am eating
• water, water, water

Mini-steps and revamping my GOALS

I have decided that although my leather pants from Florence circa 2001 are my ultimate goal, I need some mini-motivation. So my first mini-step is my brown suit pants, that fit but are snug and I would rather not wear them because my bottom would make J-Lo jealous.

I have not even tried on the leather pants (but I promise a picture soon).

My next goal after the brown suit pants, are my navy suit pants (which are only slightly tighter).

Then I'll have to think of something else.

For now, it's skirt suits and pantyhose to stuff it all in!

Letter to women at Parties

Recently, Leanna, my very prompt friend, of Beets, Butter and Mountaintops fame wrote a great post about women and networking events.

To read her letter click here. I was at that networking event where Pilates was on TV. I of course always believe myself to be starving, and/or on the verge of a last meal, so I may have thought some of the things the women said, but I ate anyway.

I always eat. You never know when the world is going to run out of food. Seriously, I have very little self control when it comes to food. I like it. It tastes good. I have to say, that I always think it is weird that so many people don't eat at social events. I always feel like a pig. (yes, Stacey, this is yet another judgement.) It doesn't stop me from eating. People may be thinking 'she really doesn't need that fourth mini-pizza thingy because her pants are going to bust open', yet I eat anyway.

I may think about what other people think, but then I generally do what I want...especially when it comes to food. Now I am trying to think about whether or not I am hungry, and whether or not what I am eating is healthy and filling.

It's a process. I'm learning. I could have eaten the entire bag of 100 calorie cookies...but I didn't.

Quitting smoking is not fun

At least that is what I figure. The husband is quitting smoking. I am very happy about this, he seems committed. I wish I could stick him on an island for a few days while he goes through the withdrawal.

Today is day 3 with no cigarette. I am happy that tomorrow is Monday. I feel bad for his coworkers. He's a teeny tiny bit cranky. I have left him playing the newest version of Grand Theft Auto. It is keeping him focused. Poor guy. I am actually very proud of him.

On another note, I'm not sure his taste buds will improve with this lack of nicotine thing...last night we were at Amy and Dave's and he had a cookie and found it to taste very strong, since I am generally a good wife, I dutifully finished his cookie.

Things I did this weekend that I am happy about:

• Got golf clubs
• Got some cute golf outfits
• Got some pink golf balls and tees
• Spent time with the husband looking at golf balls
• Hung out with Dave and Amy, always a fun time
• Found out that golf club boxes are an excellent play thing for kitties
• Went food shopping while STARVED...bought some things that weren't so good for me
• Got up early today...but slept in yesterday until 9.
• Tried wordpress.
• went to some open houses and thought about putting our condo on the market
• laundry
• spent time with the kitties

Things I did not do:

• Any significant work
• Set up a blog on wordpress although I tried and hopefully will make more of a breakthrough later on tonight
• walk
• run
• yoga
• weights
• pay all my bills
• go to T-ball (I do not play T-ball for the record, but my cute little nephew does)

Also, as of yet I have not made any lunches for the week. It was a rainy weekend and it was kind of nice not to do anything. It also showed me that I really need to get up and at 'em in the morning if I want to get exercising done....Sunday nights are a hard time to find motivation.

As I have been writing this Grand Theft Auto IV is playing. The graphics are unbelievable.

Adventures in eating....or eating out for all three meals in one day!

Thursdays are tough. I have a 7 a.m. meeting. The people that are supposed to bring snacks/breakfast did not show.

I find that annoying. Luckily, I was able to run out to my car and get an orange. I get very tense when no food is available and I might get hungry. I actually was hungry this morning so I found it even more stressful than normal.

I didn't have to be in court so I went out to breakfast with my buddy KBK. I had delicious oatmeal with fruit at Jimmy's. (I am rather impressed that Jimmy's has a website!)

I then went out to lunch with my office buddy (the same one that I brought food for because I made too much salad and pasta salad with olives and sun dried tomatoes is one of those foods that the husband will not eat). We went to Fuji's in Wollaston. Fuji's does not appear to have a website.

Then, after a rather intense afternoon (and for some reason I was totally exhausted), the husband and I set out to find dinner. I was unusually tired - as was he. I think maybe the pollen is getting to us.

He wanted something casual and Italian. I first suggested the Venetian in Weymouth, but then thought of Caffe Tosca...a delicious fun Italian place. Early McPrompt and I went there last week.

It will now be classified under places the husband will not eat. The pasta was not boring enough, too many ingredients. So we left.

Then we went to Saporitos, another Italian place in Hull. I had never been, but had heard good things. This time we actually sat down...it is a very cute little place. Again, too complicated. We left.

Finally we went to DiNero's, where the husband was able to have his Chicken Parmesan. I had little necks with linguine and a white wine sauce, which was actually very delicious.

For the record, the husband is actually a very good husband, and not normally so picky.

Last night - at the Kan Man Marketplace

I've been a little behind today in my blogging. Thursdays tend to be very long days. Last night I went to the Kan Man Marketplace with Early McPrompt and Amy. Check out their blogs for a photo recap of our adventures.

It was very fun and I tried Vietnamese food. Turns out that Vietnamese Pad Thai is very hot and spicy. I like hot and spicy, but this was too hot and spicy for my meat and potato roots.
(The husband says that my family doesn't eat colored food - just yellows and whites...which by the way is not actually true.)

So I got what Amy got. I forget what it is called, but it was yummy.

I also discovered that there are many, many, many different kinds of noodles. In fact, there was an entire aisle of noodles! I can't wait to try them out!

Oh, and I had ice cream last night, a cup of vanilla with some Brighams' chocolate sauce. I love Brighams. Strangely, when I was younger I really didn't like just plain vanilla ice cream - but it's grown on me and it is delicious!

Baby steps is what it is all about.

I didn't walk this morning. I did do some bicycle crunches and regular crunches. I also measured how far it is from my office to the T station that is further away. It is a little over a mile.

I'm trying not to feel guilty about this whole exericising thing. I know it's a step and a process to change my lifestyle, but sometimes it just isn't that easy.

These are the things I am trying:

• not to be judgemental of myself and others
• exercise a little every day
• get up early and not rush around on the morning
• take time to breath
• manage my time
• make healthy eating choices

I had an apple as a snack, and I wasn't hungry, it was just there. It's better than a brownie or a piece of cake, or a candy bar just being "there".

As Let it Flow says, it's a process!

Morning.

I woke up to my patio furniture strewn about and a rather large rabbit sitting there calmy munching on something. Well, he was calm until my three monsters saw him. Then he ran.

The dilemma of this morning is my total lack of motivation. I dragged myself out out bed at 6:15. I have only had coffee and not breakfast. My sneakers and fleece are in the car. It's chilly.

I think I'll make some Steel Cut oats, have an egg, and go to work. I can get some work done before the phones start ringing, and since I have a depo in Boston, can wear my sneakers and go for a walk around the city before I have to go sit up and pay close attention to the opposing counsel's questions.

I think I'm making excuses. I really wish my sneakers were not in my car. I'll have breakfast, check out some blogs, and see what happens.

I might do the yoga mentioned on Beets, Butter and Mountaintops, as it does not require sneakers.

Sparkpeople????

I've been monitoring my intake of food on Sparkpeople. It really is full of information. I just wish the site would move a little faster.

Oh well. So far so good. I had leftovers for lunch (whole grain pasta, artichokes, sun dried tomatoes, olives and feta). I have also had an orange and a banana. The orange kept me from eating something NOT good.

I am still hungry. I had a few wasabi peas....but they really are just for taste and I had to stop eating them because, well, I could eat the entire bag in one sitting.

I have two apples and an orange left until dinner. I am trying to avoid having microwave popcorn, but since I won't be home until after 8:30, I must just have some.

Sparkpeople is eye opening!

Of breakfast and sabotage

I just posted yesterdays breakfast. I do not know why it came up today. Anyway, I had the same thing this morning, except that I ended up having skim milk in my coffee instead of soy milk.

I overslept, and then didn't drink my coffee - which got cold - and last time I nuked coffee I burned my hand, besides I had completely lost track of time and couldn't find a travel mug, so I stopped at Dunks for a medium.

I'm trying to cut out caffeine.

It's not going all that well.

Anyway, breakfast was delicious!

Then, I got to work, and put my lunch (and I brought extras for my coworker) and told the law clerk (they are both part of our lunchtime strolls...emphasis on "stroll"). I told him it was healthy and someone else in my office laughed. He said that for me eating healthy is like him chewing on his fingernails. I'll last awhile, but it won't last forever. He knows my family and we like our desserts. Nice.

That is a judgement (yes Stacey I noticed!). I told him it was, and that he should be more supportive. I should also add that he doesn't think I'm fat. Anyway. I guess that is what happens when you work with mostly men.

So, off to my day! I brought sneakers to work and it looks like it is clearing up.

Breakfast of Champions

This morning, I decided to make a couple of days supply of cooked steel cut oats. They take about 45 minutes to cook, so they are not great to cook on busy mornings. However, if you cook them in advance and refrigerate them, you can just microwave them and are good to go.

I actually got hooked on steel cut oats, after reading Stacey Shipman's blog post on them. I bought mine at Trader Joe's. They are Irish Style Steel Cut Oats by Country Choice. They are quite delicious, particularly when you add some maple syrup.

Maple syrup is one of my new favorite foods. I eat too much sugar, and am trying to cut down on processed foods, so for the time being, maple syrup on my oats or waffles in the morning is hitting the spot!

I've been buying maple syrup at Whole Foods, and so far I have tried the 365 Organics from Whole Foods, and so far so good.

After Dinner

So I ate dinner. I thought that by just making half of a third of a bag of pasta that I would get a small portion. It wasn't that big, but it was more than I needed.

I am now full.

While I was eating, the not hungry husband went to the store and got himself the fixings of a hot fudge sundae. He ate it. He also brought in cat litter (which had been sitting in my car) and now hopefully he will change it. If he doesn't, Elwood might get mad, and a mad Elwood pees on things that Adam uses.

Check out the "boys" on my first blog ever.

I do not think I will have a hot fudge sundae. I'm glad he didn't get chocolate chip meringues or even coffee ice cream with chocolate sprinkles!

Ok. Now is confession time. I had a some of the ice cream. Brigham's vanilla. I had about a serving - 3/4 of a cup and then some Brigham's hot fudge. Just because it was yummy.

And now for dinner

I forgot to add that my snacks today were an orange and a granny smith apple. I almost had some microwave popcorn, but opted for the apple.

Now I am home and the husband is not hungry, because he had food from a fast food joint that I cannot mention. It is one place that I won't even eat (and it is not Taco Bell). Now he wants ice cream. This is why I am fat.

So...I am having a cup of pasta (the regular kind), broccoli rabe and some ricotta cheese. I might also sprinkle some Parmesan cheese on it.

I also did some strength exercises, mostly because it is too yucky to go for a walk. I'll have to plan to go early tomorrow.

3:55 is the witching hour

I'm hungry again. Or maybe I'm bored. The weather is nasty out and I am trying to figure out what to do for some activity tonight.

Mostly, I'm trying to blog when I get hungry to see if there is another answer -- i.e. -- boredom, and to track my progress.

This post is probably boring for everyone else, and you are all thinking. Is she always hungry? The answer is no, but 78% of the time I am.

I made it to lunch

I ate lunch, sort of late. I had some of those beets - and I am positive that when I walk tonight, I will sweat magenta.

I decided to enter my food into Sparkpeople, because I'm copying my friend the lover of beets. This is for informational purposes only - not to get crazy about counting calories.

I had leftovers for lunch - the pasta with artichokes, olives, feta and sun dried tomatoes. I'm thinking about food again, but that's probably because the husband is going to be home tonight, and normally he is at class tonight so. . .that throws a wrench in my plans for dinner.

Now to think of something that the husband will eat. Or else call the husband and send him to the supermarket to get something he would eat. I was going to do something with brocolli rabe. Brocolli rabe is not a food that the husband eats.

Poor husband, does not have any idea how yummy it is! He just sees all that green and gets nervous.

It's 11:49

I only had an orange. Luckily there was nothing else around to tempt me. I shall now make it to lunch of leftovers.

Starving?

I am not going to starve, but I am hungry.

I had Steel Cut Oats this a.m. Now it's 10:14 and I'm hungry. I have some snacks: an orange, an apple, beets and then my lunch. I also have emergency microwave popcorn.

I am reticent to eat more red beets. I think if I do, I might just start sweating magenta.

Meatloaf?

I bought some ground dark turkey meat and some ground beef (93% lean) at Whole Foods yesterday in anticipation of making meatballs.

I changed my mind. Instead I found a recipe on Cooking Light for Meatloaf and modified it. I think I modified it to make it a little fattier (the recipe called for egg whites and I used whole eggs). I also decided that I would use half turkey and half meat. So I divided the recipe in two, and mixed it in two bowls. Then I made two half-sized loafs and mushed them (mushed is the technical word) together and coated them in ketchup.

The husband liked it and said he would eat it again. Next time I will use the meat combination suggested in the recipe of beef, veal and pork. I also liked it and I normally do not like meatloaf.
I also made some asparagus, that I marinated in garlic salt and olive oil. I have a lot of leftovers. The husband claims to like it, but picked it up, looked at it, and put it back down. More for me!

Accountability: I did some strength training and some walking today, but mostly I did stuff around the house and also worked.

Oh I almost forgot...the reason why I should not have any snack like food in the house - I ate STALE whole wheat crackers. 7 of them. I was hungry (it was before I ate the pasta at lunch time).

I also had a banana - but that was a good choice.

The husband is looking for snacks. We have no snacks except for some leftover stale wheat crackers, which I would not recommend.

Sunday to myself (well almost)

I cooked today after breakfast (in between blogging and working and doing laundry).
I made some beets. Red ones. Now I know why people make golden ones. Red ones stain. They also can cause a little bit of alarm in the bathroom, when suddenly the toilet bowl turns pink.

I only panicked for a second. I figured it was the beets. Also red beet juice gets everywhere. I'm not naturally a 'neat' cooker, so I got a lot of red beet juice everywhere.

I then made a cold pasta salad for lunch and for lunch this week:

Barilla whole grain plus penne pasta - 1 box
1 jar of black olives, drained.
1 can artichokes, save some juice.
1 1/4 cups of feta cheese
a handful of chopped sun dried tomatoes
salt
olive oil

I cooked the pasta, and mixed it with olive oil and some salt, and let it cool.

I then mixed in some of the juice from the canned artichokes.

Once the pasta cooled I added the artichokes, olives, feta and sun dried tomatoes. Then I ate some and put the rest in the refrigerator.

I also ate some of the pasta while it cooled.

The husband will not eat it. That ensures that I will have lunch for the rest of the week.

Moisture, moisture and more moisture

I love lotions. Mostly I love lotions that actually keep my skin soft. I slather lotion on myself after every shower. I got thinking (and reading) and started to realize 'what am I putting on my skin'. It is my largest organ after all. Pretty much I have been loading myself up with chemicals. I don't think that the chemicals in moisturizers are going to kill me, but why not be more careful about what I slather on myself every morning.

First of all, I'm not willing to compromise on my facial moisturizer - at least not yet. I'm one of those lucky 30 somethings who seem to have re-hit puberty and the moisturizer and soaps I have been using seem to keep break-outs at bay. (That is a story for another day.) The first product I decided to try was during this past winter, I bought it at Whole Foods. I figured that this was a good place to start.

I smelled a lot of products. I really am not into anything that smells like a college student. (No offense to college students). But I don't want to smell like I did in college, when I wore grungy clothes, ripped jeans and Birkenstocks. I want to smell like an adult who wears suits and pantyhose to work. I don't want to walk around in a waft of memories. SO, after smelling SEVERAL products I decided to try Alba Botanica Very Emollient Body Lotion, put out by Avalon Natural Products. It's okay. The smell is a little strong for my taste, but overall pleasant. It says that it is the maximum dry skin formula. I woke up with dry skin. Then again it was winter. I think it might be the summer version of maximum dry skin. (Did I say that I SLATHER moisturizer on in the winter.) Also, it's vegetarian. That's good to know. It has me a little worried about products that don't say they are vegetarian. That's for another day. Overall it says that it has alpha hydroxy and anti-oxidants. There are a lot of chemicals on the label - in fact just as many as on my other moisturizer. I feel a little healthier (and I'm thinking of college) using it, but I don't think I'll be buying it again before summertime.

They do have an unscented version, but I'm thinking I'm going to branch out and try some other products.

Things I should not buy

I went to Whole Foods yesterday. I bought very healthy and yummy things. I also bought chocolate chip merangues. I do not know why I bought them.

I thought I would have one a day. It is the next day and they are all gone. I even had one while I was waiting for my steel cut oats this morning.

There were only four in the package, but I can't buy them anymore. I have no self control when it comes to fluffy crunchy sugar and chocolate.

Margaritas and Mexican Food

Last night the husband and I met our very good friends for dinner at our favorite restaurant, El Sarape. It's not far from our house, and driving by you would never know that inside is one of the best restaurants around.

I'm not into counting points or doing weight watchers. I want to make a healthy lifestyle change forever, and not just so I can lose weight. That being said - I have been on so many diets in my life, I know what to eat and what not to eat. I also know that depriving myself just makes me more hungry.

I have some favorites at El Sarape, and have a hard time expanding beyond them, mostly because they are so delicious. Usually I have enchiladas verdes or camerones javier. Last night I branched out and had camerones en tres chiles (or something like that). It was shrimp, spicy chili/cilantro sauces and some potatos with a side or rice and beans. Delicious and spicy.

I also had two melon margaritas. My favorite. I also had some guacamole and some chips. I do not feel guilty about any of it! I wasn't overly full when I got home.

Also, my friend has been golfing for awhile and has a set of starter clubs I can use while I figure out what I want for clubs.

I really need to start taking pictures :).

I am NOT hungry.

How's that? I went on a long walk (a little longer than anticipated because I really do not have a great sense of direction - something I will not admit to my husband) with my Beet Loving Friend. Leanna did not know that I have a poor sense of direction, so somehow or other we ended up at Hingham Lumber.

I thought this was also a good opportunity for a before picture, so here it is:

Note: I am holding a cancer causing bottle. I was unaware it was cancer causing - and sort of feel like lot's of things cause cancer, but I digress.

I went for a 90 minute walk, we even walked by JJ's (a very favorite place of my friend Amy). The best part, is that I did not even want any JJ's!

So then we ended up walking up Route 3A until we got to the abandoned railroad - which I thought was another great opportunity for before pictures. Leanna is on the left, I am on the right.

Ok, this is actually a very very good before picture of me. And this is not meant as a judgment. I look fat. I am fat. This is not the body I have when i think of my self. In my head I am not a 'fat girl'.

I also made a trip to Whole Foods and got some great food for the week.

This is what I have eaten so far today:

Waffle (Fig and Flax)

Coffee (homemade but Dunkin Donuts variety)

Edamame Salad

PBJ from Whole Foods

Peach Orange Nantucket Nectar

A Chocolate Chip Merangue

A banana.

We're going out to dinner with friends tonight.

Finally Friday!

I weighed 118 pounds in January of 2000. 118 pounds. The funny thing is that was not my lowest weight as an adult. I think that that was up from 112. That was the year I got diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. One doctor I went to (the first) told me that I had iritable bowel syndome and I should be happy because I was so nice and slender (I was probably around 122-125 down from a 137). I cried on the way home. I was sick and I knew it. So eventually I found a great doctor, and have since switched to a different great doctor, and all is well.

I met my husband right around when my weight was normalizing and I was getting healthy...and by the summer of 2001 I was at a good healthy fighting weight! I just kept on going. I wasn't exercising as much due to getting a 'real job'.

When I took the bar exam, I was rigid about self-care. I would study for certain periods of time, eat, exercise and make sure that I took a mental break from studying by spending time with pretty much anyone who wasn't studying for the bar. What happened?

That's the question that I am starting to answer.

Today, I was ok. I had to have a blood test that required fasting so I skipped my morning walk and breakfast and had a dunkin donuts coffee, a raisin bran muffin, water, then had a banana, some california rolls, an apple, microwave popcorn and then out of boredom...a snickers egg.

The best part, I don't even like snickers. They are edible, but generally I do not like nuts in my dessert and snickers is no exception.

Google Blogger

I should say that I am still trying to figure out this google blogger thing. I REALLY want to be able to categorize my posts. I want some to be about what I did, and some to be about what I ate and exercised. I don't think EVERYONE wants to know what I ate and when I exercised (unless it involves a fun story about falling or something very very yummy).

So today so far, so good. Well. So far so okay. I got up went to my breakfast meeting (ate a flax fig waffle on the way...actually 2 flax fig waffles) and then got there and had coffee with milk. Then we were out of milk and so I had some light cream.
Then I saw the scones and thought that 8 a.m. was as good a time as any to have breakfast number 2.

I stopped for coffee on my way to the office (a medium with skim milk because I am trying to cut down on caffeine).

I then had a banana.

THEN was the dessert. I arrived in my office to an email from the office manager -"there is a yummy dessert upstairs, and it has whipped cream, and it is too big for the refrigerator so please eat". (FYI - we have a dorm size fridge) So after my banana I decided to taste it. It looked yummy, chocolate, then whipped cream, then strawberries.

I tasted it and thought it had gone very very very bad. I threw it away.
I then ate my lunch at an appropriate lunch eating time (like 12:02).
Then I saw the office manager eating the dessert. She said it was yummy. I thought maybe the banana screwed with my taste buds. I tried it again after a discussion with our law clerk. He said it tasted like there was booze in it. Oh RUM! That's the taste. So I had some again. There was a LOT of rum in it. I thought maybe it would make me drunk, but alas it didn't.

I then had an orange.

Then I was going to meet my friend for drinks. We met. But no drinks for Jess. I forgot my I.D. and the bartender wouldn't serve me alcohol. It happens sometimes. So I had a diet pepsi. Calorie crisis averted!

Fenway Franks

Last night my husband and I went to the Sox/Angels game. It was a nice night, too bad the Sox didn't play better. One thing about Fenway, is that there is a LOT of food. I did see one sign that said "healthy options" with an arrow. I'm not sure what the healthy options were...peanuts? Anyway, I think I did pretty well. I had a frank and a beer and some peanuts. My husband did okay too, he had two franks, three beers and some peanuts.

I should also add that after the game, we walked from Fenway to JP Licks in the Back Bay (it was VERY crowded) and he had a sundae and I had a frozen yogurt cone. We then walked back to Park Street and took the T home.

That's walking right?

So I walked twice yesterday, once in the morning (for a half an hour around my neighborhood) and then last night for about 40 minutes. I also did some triceps and some push ups.

I'm still not quite sure how I'm going to set this up - if my posts are going to be about things I do and about what I eat and how I exercise and try to keep myself sane?

First of all, I'm not, and never was the tree-hugging type. I feel like I've been living my life on fast forward. Stress and anxiety has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember (can you say Type "A"). I have worked hard to get where I am, and I like where I am. One of the things that I have wanted to do and am trying to do is to live healthier. What does that mean? It means, taking care of myself, listening to my body and most of all - eating healthy and trying to use natural products. I'm not the vegan or vegetarian type. I'm the woman who honks at you as you drive to work. I'm the woman who runs into CVS for nylons because mine got a run on the way to work. I need more balance in my life. So I'm going to document it. Maybe I'll learn something.