Golf Take Two

Golf is fun. Luckily today it was also exercise! The course wasn't crowded (we played late - 6 p.m. on a Saturday) so we could walk fast.

It was fun. Of course the husband and I were too tired to cook ... and I only had food I would eat if he was not home. Things like whole grain pasta, yogurt, artichokes, and the makings for a nice chickpea curry. Things that he will not eat.

We decided on Chinese. He got pork fried rice and chicken wings (he's quitting smoking so he can eat whatever he wants as long as it keeps him on a somewhat even keel). I had Vietnamese spring rolls with the yummy sauce. (Thanks Amy for turning me on to these they are very very yummy.) I also had tofu with broccoli and some sort of sauce that was very very spicy. Not as spicy as the Vietnamese Pad Thai. I asked for it not to be too spicy, but it was still spicy. Not SO spicy I could not eat it, but spicy enough that I didn't eat a lot of it!

I was moderately good the rest of the day (although I didn't really eat lunch, I just snacked on a kashi bar and some fruit) so I made myself a pb and j when I got home. The peanut butter was organic, the jelly was supposedly natural and the bread was very hearty and full of grains and seeds and sprouts. It did fill me up. I think part of the reason why I ate it (ok I know) is that I was a little nervous I would starve on the golf course. If that had been the case, I'm sure some nice boys would have at least offered me a beer!

Tomorrow is another day!

My mom is thin

First, let me say, I love Google Reader. I have found a lot of inspiring stories and great information on my mission to live a healthy life (and to make it a habit). I have come across fabulous websites, written by real women who have dealt with their issues, gotten healthy and then inspired others.

Anyway, I came across the ELASTICWAIST, a growing obsession about the weight of it all. The post I came across was about learning diet behavior from your mom.

As far as I know, my mom never dieted when I was growing up. She is tall and thin. I didn't get her genes in that regard - at a good fighting weight I'm practically petite (I may look like I have big bones from the excess fat, but no!). I have breasts. My mom is really sort of flat. She also has more energy then anyone I have ever met. Recently she's gained a few pounds (and by a few, I mean like 10). She has always encouraged me to eat healthy, and we never really had any junkfood in our house.

My mom does eat a good diet - and will occassionally want to lose weight. The thing about that is, that she realizes when she's started to gain, and does something about it RIGHT AWAY. Thus keeping her at a respectable weight.

I wish I had paid more attention to her eating habits when I was growing up.

By the way, my mom does encourage me to lose weight. She's like me to be thin. My grandmother also wanted me to be thin - and when I was sickly skinny due to ulcerative colitis, she was quite thrilled! (But my grandmother had weight issues all of her life - - and incidentally had breasts.)

Anyway, I don't think I can blame my mom for my food issues. I actually do no think there is anyone to blame (Grandma's heart was in the right place). I just need to get in gear and hopefully get to a place so that when I have a daughter - I'm not dieting, I'm just eating healthy and perhaps cutting back a little if I have gone overboard.

Eating out with a new non-smoker

The husband called me when he was on his way home from work. He wanted to go out to dinner. Then he got it in his head that he wanted Chili's. I really am not a huge fan of Chili's...and thought it would pose something of a healthy eating challenge.

I also knew that with the rain it was unlikely I would get my ten minutes of exercise in (and I really had no interest of walking in the rain).

I did okay. Not fantastic. Even after I tried on my jeans and they didn't really fit. I couldn't find my favorite jeans. All clothes are tight and I feel bloated.

This did not stop me from eating a couple (three) nachos. I also had a margarita. Sooner or later I will have to find out how many calories are in a margarita...but not today.

Choosing healthy food at Chili's is HARD! I ended up having the mushroom-swiss burger but with a black bean veggie burger. I had no idea it came with mayo - so I tried to scrape it off. I got broccoli instead of fries. So overall. Not terrible. Not great and I'm still feeling fat.

Golf!

Tonight the husband and I played 9 holes of golf. It was my first 'official' 9 holes with my new starter set of golf clubs. We played at a local Par 3. FYI - Par 3's are pretty short! I had only ever played at South Shore Country Club - and you do a lot of walking!

We walked. I don't understand the whole cart thing. I got some exercise - but not as much as I would have liked - but walking for two hours counts towards my ten minute a day goal.

I had a snack before I went. One of the Kashi bars. I was a little nervous that I would get hungry while playing. When we were waiting to Tee off in the middle - I thought to myself "I'm hungry." I wasn't really.

I always think I'm hungry.

We stopped at Whole Foods on the way home - we needed some rolls and I wanted a veggie burger instead of the hotdog or hamburger that the husband was offering. So he had baked beans and two cheeseburgers. I had a veggie burger on a roll. Then I had 5 chocolate cookies (50 calorie total) and 32 natural cheetos (that I bought when I was hungry).

Overall I think I stayed around 1800 calories today, and most of it was healthy!

So today is a small step forward.

Oh and I made steel cut oats (I ran out) for breakfast tomorrow! Yum!

Lunch and other non-disasters

I got called into court last minute (and had been planning on going to a brown bag lunch) and instantly thought "well I had better eat something before I go". It was 11:30. I was not hungry. I did not eat. I had to 'self-talk' myself into the fact that I did not need food at that moment.

I also was able to call my friend and ask her "What should I get at Panera?". I called her because I know that she probably goes there, at least on occasion becuase it is right near her office. I also knew that Panera was a place I could eat near court. Turns out, I got out of court at 1:15. I went to Hannafords, had a spring roll (rice paper, salad stuff and avocado) and sea weed salad. I also stopped to get coffee at Dunkin Donuts.

I bought some emergency kashi bar rations (two) just to have in my desk in case I have a moment where I am going somewhere and 'i might starve'. Not likely to happen.

Anyway, I am going to focus on increasing my water intake to what it should be, and counteracting every cup of caffeine with a cup of water!

Self - control and not eating.

I had a networking meeting this morning - early - at 7 a.m. Usually, I don't eat before the meeting, but today I did. I decided that I would have my waffles and stop for coffee so that I would be sure that I would have skim milk.

I then had some fruit at the meeting. I love fruit. Someone brought muffins and donut sticks. They looked delicious!!! I didn't have one. I wasn't hungry. Small victory, but a victory none the less!

If I hadn't had breakfast - it is very very likely that I would have had one or two.

Facing reality and finding balance

Here's the thing. I'm fat. Not super obese. But overweight. I have little bones. I used to be a comfortable size 4. I had a little 'blubber' but mostly I looked cute. (size 0 was too small)

I'm uncomfortable that I'm fat. But I am not unhappy with myself. This might be the first day that I realized - I do not like being fat, but it does not make me unhappy, a bad person or a bad anything. I'm still cute and fun and smart.

I had a bit of a realization when trying on clothes at one of my very favorite stores Lyn Evans for Potpourri Designs. The site is broken but hopefully it will be up soon. Anyway, I tried on a bunch of clothes and many of them were too small. It was eye opening to see that I am at the high end of 'regular sizes'.

So then, on my way home, I was chatting with my friend, who is really in a groove and succeeding at getting fit, Leanna, was walking. It was 9 p.m. I thought it was too late. She said "says who?" Good question. I went for a twenty minute walk/run around my neighborhood. Better than nothing.

I think I am revamping my goals and for now I am going to keep with the minute goals...but make sure that I do ten minutes of at least brisk walking every day.

I'm also going to measure and weigh myself so I can keep track of my stats.