Lunch and other non-disasters

I got called into court last minute (and had been planning on going to a brown bag lunch) and instantly thought "well I had better eat something before I go". It was 11:30. I was not hungry. I did not eat. I had to 'self-talk' myself into the fact that I did not need food at that moment.

I also was able to call my friend and ask her "What should I get at Panera?". I called her because I know that she probably goes there, at least on occasion becuase it is right near her office. I also knew that Panera was a place I could eat near court. Turns out, I got out of court at 1:15. I went to Hannafords, had a spring roll (rice paper, salad stuff and avocado) and sea weed salad. I also stopped to get coffee at Dunkin Donuts.

I bought some emergency kashi bar rations (two) just to have in my desk in case I have a moment where I am going somewhere and 'i might starve'. Not likely to happen.

Anyway, I am going to focus on increasing my water intake to what it should be, and counteracting every cup of caffeine with a cup of water!

Self - control and not eating.

I had a networking meeting this morning - early - at 7 a.m. Usually, I don't eat before the meeting, but today I did. I decided that I would have my waffles and stop for coffee so that I would be sure that I would have skim milk.

I then had some fruit at the meeting. I love fruit. Someone brought muffins and donut sticks. They looked delicious!!! I didn't have one. I wasn't hungry. Small victory, but a victory none the less!

If I hadn't had breakfast - it is very very likely that I would have had one or two.

Facing reality and finding balance

Here's the thing. I'm fat. Not super obese. But overweight. I have little bones. I used to be a comfortable size 4. I had a little 'blubber' but mostly I looked cute. (size 0 was too small)

I'm uncomfortable that I'm fat. But I am not unhappy with myself. This might be the first day that I realized - I do not like being fat, but it does not make me unhappy, a bad person or a bad anything. I'm still cute and fun and smart.

I had a bit of a realization when trying on clothes at one of my very favorite stores Lyn Evans for Potpourri Designs. The site is broken but hopefully it will be up soon. Anyway, I tried on a bunch of clothes and many of them were too small. It was eye opening to see that I am at the high end of 'regular sizes'.

So then, on my way home, I was chatting with my friend, who is really in a groove and succeeding at getting fit, Leanna, was walking. It was 9 p.m. I thought it was too late. She said "says who?" Good question. I went for a twenty minute walk/run around my neighborhood. Better than nothing.

I think I am revamping my goals and for now I am going to keep with the minute goals...but make sure that I do ten minutes of at least brisk walking every day.

I'm also going to measure and weigh myself so I can keep track of my stats.

Meat?

For some reason lately, I'm not into meat and animal products .

So I decided to search for some veggie blogs (and had some help from Leanna)

This is what I have found:

Eat, Live, Run
It is informative and interesting. I also admire anyone who runs.

Kath Eats Real Food
More great recipes, and I have to say, I love her philosphy. She cooks real food. I'm just not into dieting, but need to figure out a way to live healthy forever. I'm trying very hard to make health, stress managment, fitness and slenderness a lifestyle

I'm not sure if slenderness is a word - but I have little bones - and I'd like that to be obvious when I look in the mirror.

I really do like looking around for blogs. I'm so impressed by so many of them!

Stress, Hunger and Allergies

I'm feeling sort of bad that Spring is pissing me off. It is beautiful out, the flowers smell fantastic and my allergy medicine has not yet kicked in.

My friend Leanna swears by accupuncture for these sort of issues. One of these days I am going to go to accupuncture, I've even picked out a location, The Lane Center, it is convenient and highly recommended. For now I am waiting for the allergy drugs to kick in.

I haven't had allergies like this in years and years. I even hit up several clerks and probation officers for advil today in court, because I thought my head might explode (and this was indoors...very indoors...after zyrtec, some nose spray and a sudafed (the real kind)).

I digress. How does this relate to my state of eating? I tend to want to 'cure' headaches - and I have a few remedies: caffeine, water, food and advil. I also take whatever remedy is first available. Today, it was candy (small hard lemon ones) from the clerk. Then sudafed. Then advil. Then slowly I felt human again.

Then, the other thing is that I found myself stressing out a choice one of my clients has to make. I was taking on the client's stress. I realize this, and am working on it. I did not put myself in the situation that he did (and given the circumstances of the case, I can say with reasonable certainty, I never will).

So, I left court - after going from 8:45 to 1:15 with no food or drink. Needless to say I was hungry and exhausted. I met some people for lunch at a healthy eating place! I had a smoothie, and a brown rice wrap.

Then I found that I wanted some candy. I didn't have any. I did have a coke zero (still had a bit of a headache) and a a banana in the afternoon.

Then I went out and had margaritas and mexican with some other women defense attorneys. I stopped eating when I was full! Thanks Stacey for giving me some of the tools to be aware.

Oh and the cleaning lady asked me if I had lost weight (I haven't, but it was nice to hear).

Oh and the husband's efforts to quit smoking are going well. He is definitely going to gain weight. He is very very hungry. I don't care what he eats as long as he quits smoking - he's trying very hard and I am very proud of him! Now, for me to have some self control!

Ten minutes down, 170 to go

I walked for ten minutes around the block. It was the last thing I felt like doing. I could have gone around more but frankly it was 8 p.m. and I was ready for dinner.

My brown pants are not going to fit any better after that - but at least I went out for a little while.

My goal for tomorrow is to get up early and go for a walk...for any length of time...to help myself keep getting into a habit. Hopefully it will be fore 50 minutes or so.

Goals for the week

To make myself accountable:

• 180 minutes of cardio (includes walking)
• strength training twice
• write down or log what I eat so I can see what I am eating
• water, water, water